where it hurts

in the ultimate silence
of the gathering dark
let me mould my words
and rephrase the past
for an angel that weighs
the sweetest of heads against these words.

godlike, my love. godlike.
the world you have shaped
we all at your feet, we all your feat
you solved us all, absolved our tears
an arrow, an anvil of pure fire
so you moulded the world
for us, and us alone

your light we absorbed
and drank you dry
a thirst-ridden whirlwind of beggars

but now our house has grown still
vast empty spaces that nothing can fill
as you whither away
into a dark speck of pain

the beggars are gone
as if they’d never been
and the silence grows darker
till my ears ring

I cup my hands around your flame
that never needed words
for a goddess sheds light

so on I fight while the world retreats
I fight the dark, I fill the stillness
I lay the world upon your altar

for the world will be words
when you are gone,
and words are for angels
that can’t be undone.
when you are gone
no angels can save me.
and so I rise and

fight

2012

our house in chennai,
white-washed maze of bougainvillea
amidst curtains of purple, red and yellow
the family is sound asleep
and i rise from myself
float over to you, lower my face
close to yours
let my eyes turn black
like a japanese manga, to scare you.
i know i will pay for this.

the house dissolves, and you and i
and all whom we know
are waiting now for the
train to take us
until i remember i have to return
and pick up the bags
for our journey on to mumbai

but rumbling deep now,
the buildings roll, the waves grow deeper
we rush into the foyer
terracotta floor, terracotta walls
hollow arches
against terracotta floor,
your bougainvillea dress
shines bright across the void
the floor rolls onward to us
you're static and stare
so i grab you and pull
as the floor rolls towards us in waves
the arches cave in
your eyes turn black
i can’t pull you out
this is how i pay
while the world collapses