relearning how to sleep alone

sanity check:
everything's still as in
my nightcap photo album
except that all has lost its value.
lights off. dull pain.

vivid dream
something terrible is going to happen.
awake: it's happened already.

vivid dream
you are calling me,
submerge me in your living fragrance.
awake: the bed is cold and empty.
I hold your pillow.

vivid dream
you cut the straps that held a piano,
I visit the hospital all over again.
awake: dr faustus (p. 55) & st. augustine (untouched)
on your bedside table.
glad the cats are with me.

vivid dream
awake: half my pillow is wet.
sweat. tears.

awake: sanity check.
kitchen. garden. coffee. cigarette.


erase.

back in black