dissociation complete

the crisp spring light
floods your stonecold grave
where the first freesias of the new year
bud under your sun
that we’ve circled once
since the end of the past.

the circle is complete.

this is it then, the final cut
two wedding rings discarded
the past shut off, with
all the people in it and all the things
that were left undone and left unsaid -
flushed away in a flood of tears.

I loved you, my sun,
but my soul’s grown back,
and I travel without you now
onward onto an open ocean
in a new solar system

my new ela

 

underneath the sky of mother-of-pearl
no more need to
close my eyes and
drive over cliff
for this is right.
this is right.

I stand upright on this big bright ball
I do what I do
love whom I love
and that is you.
in love with life.
so short.

go

inside out

we plunge into each other's eyes
and live in here
making everything right
our souls the world

winter dream

the virginal field of white flows up into
the whiteness of no sky

when a sudden speck of black
becomes a deer
becomes a tear
from deep within a dream

your postcard was the silent world now
through which we drove,
my heart white with
the hum of love

big bang

after everyone died along with her
after all caved in in the end
the year turned inside again
and the light withdrew

into here

into this warm core of
passion where you and I
have been creating a new
universe for everyone to live in

dreamtime

 

as I drive aimlessly

along the late october coast

under a dreamtime sky,

I finally see that

there are three ways
to settle this:

let her go

- but she just won’t.

so fuck myself and drown her with me –

look love, I drive hands-free at 110 mph!

accept her

and live among ghosts forever.

give myself

to you.

the choice is easy. I won’t drive over the cliff.
take my hand.

close quarters

no, I have not forgotten

nor am I forgetting,

but she lives in dreamtime now -

too far away for a phone call.

as for me, I've found shelter from the cold,

and as I ponder all my

impossible pasts
and possible futures,

I mostly hope I will live
a little longer.

this is what you become
when you've lived at close quarters with death